Love Is The Only Thing That Doesn’t Hurt

 

Very often we hear how much love hurts, but in reality – or at least the way I see it – love is the only thing in this world that doesn’t hurt.

Treason, envy, hate, violence, apathy, loathe, dislike, delusions, misunderstandings, death, loneliness. All these things hurt, not love. Love is the only thing capable of healing things which medicine can’t, the only thing making us feel important, that we matter. Love is the essence of humanity, we are born with it, it is not learned, and it’s always within us, it only gets cover by concepts and other emotions.

Love, true love, does not know violence, it doesn’t start wars or kill people. Love is the purest and most powerful emotion. Love is light, love is strength, love unites, love is eternal. Love is there for us to feel it and share it, share it with as many people as you can it will never finish, it’s infinite.

Is it really love or a lack of love that hurts?

Much love,

Hansel

 

The One Percent

 

Scientist have told us numerous times that our genes are about 99% the same. This tells us that we are more alike, more compatible than we are different. Yet we find more emphasis on that 1%.

Talk to a stranger in a different continent and I bet that you both need water and food to live. Talk to somebody else in a different continent, and I assure you that you both need the same oxygen to live. Another huge similarity we share is the need to be emotionally stable, or happy. Yet we don’t think collectively when it’s time to cooperate with one another.

Do you ever think of that one percent when dealing with someone?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Ideas & Solutions Are Out There

 

The Internet facilitates a lot of information. Books serve as great inspiration. People in our inner circle can guide us. Yet, very much like problems, ideas and solutions are out there.

You might be very well informed about something, you might even talk often about it. But going out there and experiencing the world is incomparable, and I would say indispensable for a lasting solution or creative idea.

An idea is much more powerful and easier to understand if it came from a personal experience, if you’ve lived it. You won’t find the best solution to the problem by sitting behind the computer.

An abundance of ideas and solutions are out there for you to find. If going out there is not an option, then muse on the times you were out there.

What solution can you come up with by meditating on previous ‘out there’ experiences?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

20 Questions To Ask Yourself Before 2017

 

This year, before I toss the old year away, forget about failures and mistakes, and spring into the new year with a new ambitious resolution in hand, I want to evaluate and reflect on what this year means to me. I hope you join me.

Washing your hands off and forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made is only correct after reflecting upon them. Only after that, must we say ‘mistakes were made, I’ve learned, let’s move on!’

What is the best book I read?

When did I feel the most creative?

Did I spend enough time with the people I love the most?

What has been the hardest thing I did this year?

Did I travel? Where? What did I learn?

What wake up calls did I have?

What are three things this year taught me?

What were my biggest achievements?

What is the kindest act I did?

What is the best thing I did for myself?

What good habit did I pick up this year?

Who is gone? What do I remember that person for?

What struggles did I have? Did I persevere? How?

Did I spend a lot of my time pursuing the small insignificant things?

Who must I forgive?

What’s the best advice I received?

What do I ought to never do again that I did this year?

What did I spend a silly amount of time and money?

Who was my biggest support?

What was the most exciting experience?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Not Knowing Can Be Helpful

 

In a 6th grade class, the algebra teacher dedicated the last 20 minutes discussing a certain equation which simply had no solution. With the chalk in hand, and the attention of his turbulent students he drew the equation on the board and explained why it wasn’t possible to solve this problem. As the bell marked the end of the class and the students started packing their bags to leave, Jeff quickly woke up and jotted the equation on his square paper notebook thinking it was homework.

Jeff was an average student with average grades. He spent the whole week trying to solve the equation. When he realized he wasn’t going very far with the skills he got taught in algebra, he went back to simple arithmetic to solve the problem. On his next algebra class, he handed the paper to his teacher. Surprised by what he saw he asked Jeff how he solved it.

Knowing everything about a specific subject isn’t necessarily good when you are trying to create something no one has ever created before. Sometimes thinking outside of the box is not enough. We must learn to not think of a box at all.

What is we try solving an issue in an irrational matter?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Round Halves

 

Aristophanes's speech from Plato’s symposium tells us that originally sexes were three; there was man, there was woman and the union of the two. Their back, necks, and sides were round. They had two faces – each looking the opposite way – four arms, four legs, four ears and the remainder to correspond. They could synchronize their moves in perfect harmony to walk back, forth and even roll.

Man was child to the sun, women to the Earth and the moon was a combination of the sun and the Earth. Most likely the reason for them being round.

Their strength and mighty hearts were so great that the gods felt threaten by them. Vanishing them would be unvirtuous, for that reason Zeus decided to split them in half. They would now be greater in number but less powerful.

The legend narrates that after the division man and woman lust for their other half. Men would seek for their other man or woman, and women would seek for their other woman or man. Once they reunited they wanted to do everything together. Should one of the halves die, the other would either die of solitude or search for another mate to grasp.

Life partners are not independent individuals, they are the lost part of us. They are everything we are and everything we are not. They are always behind us and looking out for us. They compliment us, a beautiful balance.

Halves are worth searching for, worth being patience for, worth dying for. When you find your half, don’t let it go. Moving forward, backward or rolling is not quite the same with a misfit.

Why do we crave the other half so much?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Practice Love & Kindness Daily

 

"I shall pass this way but once, any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it know. Let me not differ nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

- Charles Schwab

Spreading love and kindness is essential to humanity as water is to plants. Don’t let a day go by without cultivating or ‘watering’ love and kindness. A modest compliment, a humble smile, a kind word, to you or someone else is sufficient.

How have you expressed love and kindness today?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

The Dark Road

 

When everybody seems to be going and pointing on one direction what do you do? Do you follow them to be safe and not appear like a lonely fool? Or do you deviate in a different and more uncertain direction?

When I visited the Canaima National park last year we had to drive off-road in the dark night so we could reach the camp. I remember the thrill of driving down that road; we could only see a couple of meters ahead of us while the fireflies decorated the night giving us a sense of the vastness of the savannah.

When I look back at this experience it makes me wonder about the roads we decide to travel in life. Again, do we take the more or less frequently traveled road? Do we take the one with signs and directions or do we take one that has none of that?

It’s a tough choice, one that should be considered. All I can tell you is that when we finally arrived at our camp, the morning that followed, like every other day, the sun showed up and made everything visible, making me feel remarkable and excited.

How can we make the roads less travel a little brighter?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Your Year In A Sentence

 

A lot can happen in three hundred and Your Year In A Sentence sixty-five days. Just like me, I am sure that you won't remember the majority of the events that occurred in 2016. Big, small, good or bad there is certainly always a takeaway from those events.

Psychologically we are always biased to judge an event by its ending. Picture this, you go to a party with your best friends and the whole night is a bummer, until the last hour before the party ends something crazy happens and you end up having an epic night. Even though it was only the last hour that you ended having fun, you will probably remember this party as being amazing.

When you are reflecting on your year try to go back to the beginning and see all the good and the bad as it was.

If you could resume your 2016 in one sentence how would it be?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Pemon

 

In the north of the south lies an immense savannah surrounded by giant tabletop mountains and hidden waterfalls. The oldest rock formations on Earth are said to be here. This, however, is not the only monument that makes this place so special. The savannah is home to not only beautiful and endemic species but also native people who identify themselves as Pemones.

The Pemones is a native tribe that is spread out through the vast savannah. Some of them are very traditional while others picked up some traditions from the modern world.

The natural beauty of this majestic place draws the attention of many people. In turn, we now find kids and adults alike using their skills, or learning new ones to create a source of income.

I experienced this with a kid while touring the savannah. I wish I remember his name, but he was a young boy – about 12 – who was born and lived in this area his whole life. He showed us around, told us legends and real stories from his families, and even took us to a small natural pool with a beautiful waterfall.

Authentic experiences like this one are what people want and someone living there can offer it. They need help and not donations, they need you to visit their home, they need you to have fun and enjoy this majestic place.

How can we facilitate and increase their income?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Sunsets

 

The sun, so essential in our lives. A huge star in the far distance capable of vanishing our existence. So beautiful and unattainable. Every now and then, though, gifts us the biggest painting in the world. With magical colors that we are able to capture with our lenses, but unable to display the zest the twilight gave us.

Maybe endings aren’t so bad.

What beauty does your ending have?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

If It Scares You & Excites You, DO IT!

 

Confronting our fears can take us very far, to extraordinary corners of our wonderful planet. It opens opportunities that we thought never would come. It excels our imagination and everything we thought impossible. Being afraid is our nature, is what got us here. Being bold, however, is recognizing that you’re afraid and still taking a leap of faith, and in the process, you might just stumble upon something extraordinary.

Great things come to those who are willing to make a bold move. If it scares you and excites you at the same time, do it!

What would you do today if you had nothing to fear?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Stories

 

Humankind has a gift to tell stories. It is the very reason we are able to learn from the past, to have an idea how our ancestors previously lived and how we can move forward. Stories with a good narrative are informative and entertaining. But stories with a character that we can relate to are remarkable, because they narrate our own story. Not all stories have a good ending of course, but sometimes what really matters is the passage. Nonetheless, stories with a good ending allure our thoughts to hope.

You have a story you tell yourself every day. So do I. So is the rest of the world. We all have a story about who we are and how we choose to see the world. Watch the world choose, it’s key.

Experiences shape us, but as soon as they are gone they are nothing but memories. The emotions attached to those memories make up the climax of our story. The story we tell ourselves every day. Emotions are nothing but neurological patterns that can be bent, stretched and even changed. It’s not that simple, but neither is learning a new skill. The reward, though, is earned through practice.

Welcome each new day with the story you want to hear, the story you want to create. Soon enough you might find yourself living that story and others sharing it.

What story do you choose to tell yourself? Will it be happy or sad?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Do It For You

 

Growing up is extremely wonderful – I dare to say that the most wonderful adventure one can have is a playful childhood. Everything is new to us, we question everything and experiment on the things can and cannot do. The world literally is our playground. Do It For You

As we grow older we start being classified into different segments of the status quo. We question less and simply do more of what people expect from us. Everything gets tricky as we constantly crave for instructions on how we are supposed to do things. And so we end up in this vicious cycle of doing things either for monetary income or instant pleasure. We accept the myth that this is all there is to life.

The truth is that there is a space, a grey area, between doing something for money and doing something for pleasure, and our freedom rests in this space.

What is this gray area for you?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Don't Believe Everything You Think

 

We live more in our heads than in the physical world. We each have a story that we keep telling ourselves. This story is constantly changing and evolving.

We think about good and bad things. Here too we must find a balance, but what’s most important is that you don’t believe everything you think, especially if it doesn’t serve you.

What daily thought frustrates you?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Break Patterns

 

Following a daily routine can get us from point A to B. But will it get us to point C?

Oftentimes following a routine for too long can have catastrophic effects. Not only our efficiency to get things done, but our creativity and even our health can be compromised.

Changing things up, breaking certain patterns, even if they are small can be very beneficial for the outcome you seek.

What if you did the opposite for 48 hours?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

A Pocket Full Of Treasure

 

El Dorado was a kingdom where the greatest abundance of wealth was believed to be, a city built out of solid gold, where kids would play with the precious metals, and the king El Dorado would be covered in golden dust so that he would shine like the sun. Perhaps the biggest and most wonderful illusion man has conceived, a deception that cost the lives of many, drove at least one man to suicide, and got another man beheaded.

The legend of El Dorado is a timeless icon that marked my childhood. To this day, I find myself lost in thoughts whenever I make a remark about the story. Not too long ago, I would exit this imaginary world by asking myself the same question I did as a child:

Is this city still hidden from mankind?

Today, that question is irrelevant, because I now understand that the real treasure is not golden, it doesn’t belong to anybody, and it certainly is not lost or waiting to be found. The real treasure has always been there, since the beginning of times, the real treasure does not hide, rather it’s always around, the real treasure serves us, and unlike the many man-made concepts, the real treasure does not need us, we need it.

Every day the sun shines - some days brighter than others – delivering more energy to Earth in an hour than we could possibly consume in a year. This is but one of the many examples of abundance we don’t consider as treasure.

Treasures rarely look the way we envision them, and I can certainly tell you that we all have pockets full of treasures; look where you haven’t searched before.

Ask yourself:

Is this the treasure I so desire?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

You Teach Others How To Treat You

 

How do people treat you? Are they positive and kind towards you? Or are they mostly serious and negative?

It’s a fair observation you can make today. Certainly, a lot can be learned about oneself by how other people are perceiving or even treating you.

When I interviewed Stefania she said something very interesting, she said:

“Everything in life is a balance, so don’t let anyone step on you because you teach others how they're supposed to treat you.”

I am very aware of the golden rule since I was a kid: “do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” But hearing this same idea, with different words and at that time made a lot of sense.

Look at the way people behave when they are around you, how do they approach you? What kind of words are they using when they speak to you?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

Work To Become A 'Natural Talent'

 

Nobody is born knowing how to speak, write, walk, or ride a bicycle. In fact, everything we know today we learned it over time, especially if you are good at it. Sure some of us may be born with a gift or a talent, but I think talent is the socially acceptable act of condemning the not talented and allowing the talented to be lazy.

In the book Grit, psychologist Angela Duckworth studied highly successful people, each in their respective field, like athletes, CEOs, entrepreneurs, musicians, etc. What she discovered is that when it came down to success or achievement, grit triumphs talent and skill.

Today marks the 33rd day I am writing on a daily basis. I try to express, or at least elaborate, on a new idea or thought every day. The purpose behind this is because I believe that we all have something to say or share that can help someone, and this is my dull attempt. If you allow me to be a little selfish, though, I will also tell you that I am doing this to improve my writing skills. You see, I’ve always been a lousy writer, and oftentimes found it very difficult to express myself. But here I am, showing up every day with (hopefully) something new and valuable to say. Even though my days do not revolve around writing these daily columns, I do take the time to make my writing as pleasant for you as possible.

Although there’s still a lot of work I must do on my writing, small improvements have been made over a short month. I will continue this personal challenge for over a year and hopefully be another evidence of Angela’s thesis.

I invite you to take on a daily challenge yourself to become a talent at something. It will be rewarding.

What can you do to become a ‘natural talent’?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer

 

15 Lessons Learned From A Marathon

 

8 months ago I ran my first marathon, the Rotterdam Marathon. My preparation for the race was very poor, the most I ran before the event was 22 kilometers, and that was only once. This made it more challenging, but I was looking forward to it.

Generally, I like to do things with a purpose, so I ran to support my cousin fighting against leukemia.

About 10 kilometers away from the finish line, I stopped. My legs couldn’t move forward anymore, and even though my mind commanded the opposite, the pain was so great I thought I wouldn’t be competent enough to finish the race. I hit the wall as the expression goes.

From that moment on I had to change my approach, I had to work on small goals. I would set objects on the way to reach jogging and then stop or walk from there. Eventually, with one final sprint invigorated by the crowd, I finish the marathon within four hours and twenty-seven minutes.

This has been one of the biggest self-taught lessons so far. Lately, I have been thinking about what I learned so I can apply it to my everyday struggles. This is what I’ve come up with:

1 You are more competent than you think you are, you just have to put yourself in painful positions.

2 Support is very important, embrace it.

3 Every step of the way actually counts.

4 Small obtainable goals is a great strategy, break down big goals or tasks into little ones.

5 Sometimes logic does not make sense. Uncertainty of the end result is acceptable, what’s important is that you keep on going.

6 Cheer those who are running next to you, it’s not a competition.

7 Run at your own pace.

8 Take small breaks and celebrate along the way.

9 Enjoy and appreciate the environment.

10 You are going to sweat.

11 No one is going to run this for you.

12 Preparation is key; it will certainly make it less painful.

13 Do it for you, but also have a bigger purpose.

14 When you’re limping laugh, if you don’t find it funny it can at least help reduce the pain.

15 Whatever happens, smile.

How can you apply these points to your struggles?

Much happiness,

Hansel | @hanselpahmer